Be glued to your phone (possibly literally because it may drive people away).
Hide out in the bathroom or in another room.
Pile a mountain food onto your plate. Can't chew and talk at the same time.
Listen to your iPod.
Pretend you have a disease that prevents you from listening to one person for too long.
Talk about yourself. All the time. People will leave you alone. Unless you're awesome and people love to hear about you. Hey, that must make you a celebrity.
Give one word answers. Be as simple, uninterested, and monotonous as possible.
Don't ask questions. Ever.
Don't make eye contact.
Read a book/Kindle/Nook.
Whip out your laptop/iPad. Don't forget earphones!
If you can plan ahead, dress eccentrically.
Be drunk. I'll let your imagination play with that one.
Bring up uncomfortable topics to drive people away.
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